Finally the nurse came out and handed me this huge envelope with what looked like xrays in it. She told me my GP wanted me to bring these back over to his office....as I walked out & got in my car, I called my hubby. This can't be good. What would my doc need ME to bring these RIGHT over? Hubs tried to calm my nerves telling me not to over think it til I was over there. I went into the office & my 2 aunts that work there funneled me back to one of their offices in the very back cuz the doc was with his last patient. I sobbed. Then I bawled. I knew from their reactions something was wrong......very wrong.....again.....
Doc finally came in and wrapped his arm around me. He slowly explained to me that there were 'spots' on my MRI. These spots would need radiation. RADIATION?!? That means brain cancer!!! He tried to calm me down enuff so that I could understand that I needed to see the radiologist immediately and that the nurse was making me an appointment. He assured me that they were very small spots and he had every confidence in the radiation to take care of it.
I insisted on driving home alone. I needed time to clear my head. Unfortunately, clearing it didn't help...it just presented more questions. How did this get missed in the PET scans? Why didn't the chemo get it? Was it not there before and cancer grew in less than a month in my head? What's radiation treatment anyway?
I went home and fortunately, hubby was off and stuck by the kiddos and let me go to bed. It was almost as bad as a year ago when I was first diagnosed but this time I did fall asleep for quite awhile. Unfortunately for the hubs though, I woke up at 4am in terror!! Waking from a nightmare is a good thing....waking into one....not so good!
Doc finally came in and wrapped his arm around me. He slowly explained to me that there were 'spots' on my MRI. These spots would need radiation. RADIATION?!? That means brain cancer!!! He tried to calm me down enuff so that I could understand that I needed to see the radiologist immediately and that the nurse was making me an appointment. He assured me that they were very small spots and he had every confidence in the radiation to take care of it.
I insisted on driving home alone. I needed time to clear my head. Unfortunately, clearing it didn't help...it just presented more questions. How did this get missed in the PET scans? Why didn't the chemo get it? Was it not there before and cancer grew in less than a month in my head? What's radiation treatment anyway?
I went home and fortunately, hubby was off and stuck by the kiddos and let me go to bed. It was almost as bad as a year ago when I was first diagnosed but this time I did fall asleep for quite awhile. Unfortunately for the hubs though, I woke up at 4am in terror!! Waking from a nightmare is a good thing....waking into one....not so good!
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