Poison in my veins...

We went very early the next morning to get my first chemo treatment...they had given me sheets of papers explaining all the meds they were going to give me but I really hadn't read any of them....I was still trying to digest the cancer, and the thought of reading about all these toxic chemicals they were fixing to feed into my veins and all the side effects they brought was still just too much to want to try to tackle right that minute. The nurse that had seen me the day before took me under her wing from the minute I sat down. She put the IV in my hand and explained to me that I could get a port installed in my collar so they wouldn't have to stick me everytime I came in...she explained to me the first bags she hooked up to me that contained anti-nausea meds and Benadryl to prepare my body for the real stuff...I had brought a blanket cuz I remembered being very cold in that room the day before, so I put it over my head and finally fell asleep without visions of the grim reaper dancing in my head. I woke to some clanking and the nurse explained to me she was starting a bag of one of my meds, what it was for, and how long it would take to feed...I fell back to sleep...that process happened a couple of more times each time a new med was introduced...finally we were to the last bag. The nurse sat down with 4 prescriptions and explained to me what they were and how to use them...they were anti-nausea meds and steroids...she explained that I would need to come back the next day to get a shot that would help keep my immunity up...let me explain all the wonderful things she told me might happen to me...nausea, actually puking, loss of appetite, dehydration, muscle and joint pain, hair loss, lack of or no taste in my mouth or possible a metal taste, mouth sores, exhaustion...wow, I don't even know if that's the complete list, but you get the point...I was scared of what the next few days would hold...I know my husband was too but bless his heart he kept up the positive attitude, the smiles, trying to hold me up...we finished up and went home...I moved like I was made of glass cuz I was so scared that any minute I was gonna heave or I was gonna be stricken with paralyzing pain...I was told the first 3 days were the worst and probably would dictate how my body was going to react to the meds for the long haul...we waited...