So fresh on a Monday morning I wander down to the local lab for what I was told by my gyn/ob was going to be an ultrasound on my breast...FINALLY we were gonna see what the trouble was in full black and white! I get there and they take me back to a room with a, (this is where you make that evil music in your head that happens when the villain enters the screen, dun dun dun)...a mammogram machine...are they freakin' kiddin' me?!?! You think you're gonna smush my boob that is swollen and enflamed and hurting so bad that I literally have to carry my arm under it to support its weight so I can tolerate moving in a mammogram machine?!? They did and they did...the nurse who had to perform it was as kind as she could be, even putting a chair behind me so in case I passed out from the pain...with tears streaming down my face (and did I mention in anything earlier that I don't cry and have a very high tolerance for pain) they pulled this malformed piece of my anatomy and smashed it between plates on the machine to the point that milk would squeeze out of me and run down the metal...I have never felt anything like that and hope no one in their lifetime ever has to....we finished that part and they had me sit in the waiting room for the radiologist to look at the film...they finally called me back and again, and lo and behold, can you believe he thought they needed to do one more shot...I have never felt so defeated and beat up in my life, so, once again, we smashed and pulled and prodded and I cried...back out to the waiting area and called back a third time to have a very sweet girl lay me on a table and finally do the ultrasound I was expecting in the first place. This poor girl literally gasped at what she was seeing and said she had never seen a cyst that big in a woman's chest...finally, someone understood what it was and that I wasn't lactating or crazy...there was a real reason for my misery...the radiologist took a look at it all came in to tell me that he wanted to aspirate it to attempt to give me some relief....let me explain aspiration...they take a ridiculous size needle and stab it into your breast after a local anesthesia to dull the pain and suck the fluid out of your chest...okay, it sounded horrible but it was gonna start the process of making this thing go away so I was all for it....I laid on a table looking away cuz I can't stand the sight of needles, while the nurse assisting looked flabbergasted while the radiologist filled vial after vial with fluid...145ccs in total....he seemed to be relatively sure that the softness that was now in my breast would bring me some relief and sent me on my way, assuring me that the labs would be done by the time I saw the specialist the next day...I went home not sure how much help it had done as the spot of the aspiration ached as the topical wore off...I knew a couple hours later...the cyst had filled right back up and was aching more furiously than ever that night...oh I hoped that specialist was as good as her reputation!
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