I let this little veggie fest go for another couple of days with squishy green stuff coming out of my bra (that at this point I was wearing around the clock for the support as much as the cabbage application)...I got in the shower, ran it as hot as I could stand it over my body and began to try to massage the lump out of my breast...I had read on the internet (what a wealth of useless & inaccurate information at times) about blocked milk ducts and how to milk myself...I'm not kidding, that's what it's called...I didn't breastfeed cuz the thought of it made me feel like a cow, and now I was milking myself...the things I read said that something the size of a granule of sand could block a milk duct causing it to swell and, if not relieved, the milk to sour inside your breast...yay, I couldn't stand the sight of curdled milk in the fridge and the thought of having it inside of me was, to say the least, nauseating. I stood in that shower for two nights in a row, firmly massaging my breast from my body to the nipple...there were points that a bit of milk would come out and I would get so excited that I'd almost forget about the blinding pain I was causing myself cuz I thought maybe the end of this nightmare was in sight...just a little granule of calcified milk will pop out of my nipple like a guy passing a kidney stone thru his tender parts and then there will be a rush of relief as the stifled milk comes flowing out...curdled or not, I relished in the thought of this....but alas, my efforts were to no avail and I was getting desperate to wrench this little 'sand demon' out of me...I borrowed a breast pump...it was almost comical, the sight of me standing in the kitchen with my boob all flopped out and this suction cup thing in my hand, almost trembling at the thought of attaching it to my breast...THIS was the exact reason I didn't breastfeed either of my kids cuz I didn't want to do this...my husband thought I was the biggest wimp he'd ever seen...LOL....it was pretty funny...so I gained my 'cojones' and put the pump on...now would be a good time to tell you that these things come with instructions and you should read them thoroughly before using them becuz 'full blast' is not the setting you're supposed to start out with...I pumped about a half a teaspoon of milk out thru this torture device with tears of agony in my eyes over the course of about 20 minutes before I found the dial to turn it down...LOL...turned it down, kept sucking...but, once again, to no avail....all I had now was a very red, very swollen, very painful boob....hope doc has better ideas tomorrow!
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